Libertarians urge Pull the plug on silly Alabama law that bans vibrators

WASHINGTON, DC -- A judge should strike down an Alabama law that
bans the sale of vibrators and other sex toys, the Libertarian Party said
today -- because America doesn't need politicians deciding "which kinds of
orgasms are government approved."

"This law is giving us bad vibrations," said Bill Winter, the
party's director of communications. "The fact is, the government has no
business interfering in any private, consensual sexual activity between
one person."

What's the buzz here?

A court in Alabama is currently weighing the constitutionality of
a state law that prohibits the sale of sex toys -- and makes the "crime"
punishable by a $10,000 fine and one year of hard labor. The law,
sponsored by a Democratic State Senator, took effect in July 1998.

A lawsuit to overturn it was filed by a group of women, including
the owner of an "adult" shop in Huntsville, a saleswoman for the Saucy
Ladies line of sexual aids and novelties, and a "Jane Doe," who said she
uses a doctor-recommended vibrator to overcome sexual dysfunction.

A hearing was held in mid-February, and the judge could issue a
ruling any day now.

Libertarians say their advice to the judge is clear It's time to
give a "Big No" to politicians who try to regulate the Big O.

"Call off the vibrator police," urged Winter. "If there is any
area of life that should be strictly off-limits to politicians, it should
be people's bedrooms. Quite simply, there is no excuse for these kinds of
invasive, offensive, puritanical laws."

So why was this law passed?

In court, lawyers for the state of Alabama argued that legislators
passed it, in essence, because they could. There is no constitutional
right "to purchase a product to use in pursuit of having an orgasm,"
claimed Attorney General Bill Pryor. And attorney Courtney Tarver said,
"We see the legislature acting within its powers."

And that's the real problem this law illustrates, said Winter
There is absolutely no limit to what areas of your life legislators can
meddle with.

"From the size of your toilet bowl to what videos you can rent;
from the hours your store can be open to what kind of sex toys you can
purchase -- politicians think they should be able to regulate, ban,
prohibit, tax, or subsidize every aspect of your existence," he noted.

"That's why we Libertarians suspect that the thrill people get
from sex toys is nothing compared to the thrill politicians get from
controlling other people's lives. If you want to stamp out illicit
self-gratification, prohibit politicians from getting their jollies by
passing these kinds of ridiculous, unneeded laws."

On the other hand, Winter acknowledged that there is one aspect of
the sex toy law that even Libertarians can appreciate.

The exact language of the bill, he noted, prohibits "any device
designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human
genital organs."

That means, said Winter, "Depending on how strictly you interpret
the law, it could make Bill Clinton illegal in Alabama."

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